Dogbreath Takin' A Ride

I've got some pretty kooky people in my family, but this guy is one of the best.
He has had many, many misadventures.
THIS was one, and so was THIS, THIS,and THIS.
I have to say that I love his enthusiasm. Just mention one or two words, and he is jumping up and down.

TREAT!
WALK!
RIDE! (this one makes him jump in circles)

He went on a ride with me this morning to bring the girls to school. He kept his head out the window for the entire 24 mile ride. That's just skills, right there. Cheeks floppin' in the breeze, barking at the cars that he deems too close while keeping his balance. Not easy with me driving.
He's an incorrigible flirt. He does the head nod and says "hey bebe" to all the dogs he sees.
He barks out threats to the cats, and has to be held back from jumping out the window after them. "Yeah, Creampuff? You lookin' at me? You're mine, Esse."
He snaps up and eats the bugs that fly up to his window.
He's definitely kooky.
I think he's becoming one of my favorite people.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

This morning my husband snickered as he kissed me goodbye.
It was around 4:30, and I was mostly sleeping... but I heard it never the less.
I didn't think much of it because I was more interested in getting back to sleep.

Oh mercy.

When I finally did get up and out of bed I figured out what was so funny...
I looked like I had been channeling Aretha Franklin. I had BIG hair. Big, crazy hair.
I went to bed with wet hair, which is such a no-no... I have hair that likes to curl, and things were looking a bit gnarly.
A bit of advice for us girls with the natural curl?

NEVER, NEVER GO TO BED WITH WET HAIR. EVER.

It took two shampoos and 10 minutes of deep conditioning to get that mess sorted out.
I have her song R-E-S-P-E-C-T stuck in my brain. Serves me right for being that bad to my head.

Because I'm Elektra King

I have a guilty pleasure...
James Bond.
I admit to having the hots for 007. Not at all sure that I wish to psychoanalyze myself and find out the reason why....
I just know that I have a thing for anything Bond.
I own far too many 007 DVD's, and have way too many opinions on who was the best leading man (Sean Connery)


the best Bond movie (From Russia With Love)
the best M (Dame Dench)

the best Q gadget ( The Aston Martin DB5, although I did like the grenade pen quite a bit and find myself clicking pens twice just in case).



I am looking forward to the new movie, Quantum of Solace, even if I am not sold on Daniel Craig.
Oh, and I found out what my bond girl name is: Elektra King. What's Yours?
You can click HERE to find out.
I am such a freak. So there you go, now you know.

Playing Little Miss Muffet

I was minding my own business this morning, cleaning.
Did I mention to you that I truly loathe cleaning? I try to make it quick and efficient, which cuts back on having to repeat it. I started from the top, sweeping cobwebs and dust off ledges... I dusted, shined, scrubbed, mopped, and finally ... vacuumed. I HATE vacuuming.
I worked up a sweat! Phew! As a reward, I brewed a shot of espresso, steamed a cup of milk, stirred in the chocolate and sat down to enjoy my mocha.... my very earned mocha. Total bliss! I think that half of the enjoyment of the mocha is smelling it, which I was doing when, out of the corner of my little eye I spied movement on the wall. I spun my head to the right and watched a 1.5 inch spider slowly crawling her way up my wall. I can only presume that I unknowingly evicted her from her home and she was relocating. Most likely to my bed, or one of my shoes, which is completely unacceptable.
Did I mention that I also loathe spiders? I might have mentioned it. Usually I freak out. Today was different because this was a mama spider and I could not afford to lose her. I grabbed a jelly jar and lid and helped her move into it. She was so angry. She writhed and squirmed in the jelly jar and I got a very good look at her belly, which sports a lovely red hourglass. Pretty, shiny Black Widow.


I think that she is one of Tori's Spiderbabies that somehow escaped the great cloud of death.
Guess what my family is doing later today?
Clearing out so that the Bug Man can do his murderous thing.

Stupid Things Said To Me

You know what you said. The words flew out of your mouth and there was no pulling them back in. Your round and round explanation needs to stop. I'm giving you a lesson of what not to say. You're welcome.

1. "Your children are adorable! Do they all have the same father?" I so wanted to go the round with you on this one... but it would have confused my kids. "why no! I have no idea who their fathers are! Maybe you could help me... do they look like anyone you know?" Did you not notice that they all look alike? And they don't look like me? That they are exact copies of my husband? Mind your own business, lady.

2. "Your children are beautiful! They must look like their dad!" Getting 5 kids ready on Easter morning took precise planning and was a brutal mission. Kids first, mom last. I realize that I only had 13 minutes to get dressed and made up, thanks for pointing my shortcomings out. Bless your little heart.

3. "Are those fake?" OMG, lady. Can't quite believe you would say that. I can't even remember your name, why would I share that info with you? I'm a bit creeped out. Touch, and you die.

4. "You'd be such a pretty girl if you would just loose some weight." You'd be prettier with your face rearranged. I could help you.

5. "You look nice today. What did you do different?" I can see by the look on your face that you didn't mean to say it quite like that. Good thing you hightailed it out of there. The flush on my face is not from pleasure. You were about 2 seconds away from receiving a scathing insult. Jerk.

6. "Is that your natural color?" Why would you need to know that? Will this knowledge make everything in your life fit into place, or are you pointing out the fact that I have too pale of skin for black hair? Cuz I already know. Thanks ever so!

7. "I work, and you just stay home all day. Why don't you be in charge of _________?" You are just so funny. Of course I will. What else would I have to do all day if you did not bestow this wondrous duty upon me? Guess I'll have to turn off the Soaps and put the bon bons back in the freezer. Never mind that I have 5 kids and an extremely busy life. Could you be any more stupid?

8. "Are you sure you won't change your mind?" I said no. Three times. Are you sure you have a mind?

9. "Women are too irrational to be able to be president." Whoa buddy. I make more sound decisions by 7 am then you make all day. Let me help you with one... choose to shut up.

10. "I tried to call you..." I have caller ID. My phone keeps a record of missed calls. I can tell if you called me.

Knowledge is power. Shush.

Ruby Bunny

Every little girl needs a special friend that has been there since the beginning... A friend that can cuddle with you when you are afraid, who has big ears to hear all of the secrets you need to tell, and can squish small enough to fit into a bike basket for an adventurous ride. Tori's friend Ruby Bunny has been there for her always. They were crib mates. Ruby stood sentinel over Tori during the first nights, was nap time buddy during toddler times, helped Tori brave kindergarten, and she has been there for all of the bumps along the way. She is showing all of the love. Ruby gets sewn up more often then ever now, and she is a little more difficult to fix each time. Tori patiently waits for me to stitch her up. The one thing that Tori won't tolerate is Ruby Bunny being put in the washing machine.
"Mom, you can't put Ruby Bunny there, she'll drown."
I've explained it many ways, nothing works. I've even said that it is her "spa treatment".
Not Happening.
The only way that I can get Ruby Bunny clean is to sneak into Tori's room at night and steal Ruby Bunny away, wash her, dry her, and put her back before morning. I had to do this tonight. While Tori understands that Ruby Bunny is cleaner, it is an unspoken thing between us that she did not allow it to happen. I am seeing Tori grow up so quickly, and I know that Ruby Bunny is on borrowed time. For now, my little Tori and her little bunny are inseparable: they are tea party ladies, ballerina rockstar super spies, and grand adventurers. Who knows what tomorrow will bring... but I'll have pictures to remind Tori of her great friend.